What Dreams May Come

I have a dream. Unlike the visionary dream of Martin Luther King, mine involves James Brolin riding an inside-out buffalo. It is just one of many odd, disturbing, unexplainable images that visit me on a nightly basis. But before you armchair Freuds and water-cooler Jungs start trying to unscramble my noodle, I must warn you… You really don’t want to go in there.

I’ve always had strange dreams and horrible nightmares. Some studies suggest that such dreams are the product of great creativity. The list of great artists and writers who’ve been afflicted and affected by their dreams is almost endless. Of course, most of them suffered anxiety, depression or other mental illnesses as well. At the best of times the line between madness and genius is thin and wiggly. When we sleep the little elves of our subconscious come out and skip rope with it. How charming.

My dreams aren’t always bad. Sometimes I see God and he gives me the secrets of the universe. Too bad I can’t remember what he said when I wake up. God looks an awful lot like Charleton Heston. Sometimes I see Albert Einstein and he explains quantum mechanics. He writes elaborate equations of string theory, which I also can’t remember when I wake up. Once I dreamt I saw God and Einstein shooting craps. I said to Einstein, "Hey! I thought you said God didn’t shoot dice with the universe?" They invited me to join. I lost twelve bucks. God looked an awful lot like Charleton Heston.

Sometimes my dreams just don’t make a great deal of sense. They’re sort of like the scene in 2001 A Space Odyssey, where the guy goes flying through all the crazy colors and turns into the big space baby... Only in my dream I’m in my underwear in front of my high school math class and Scott Baio is playing "The Stars and Stripes Forever" on the kazoo.

Sometimes I have lucid dreams. That’s when you realize that you’re dreaming and can control the action of your dreams. I like to fly in those. Although, sometimes I forget that I’m controlling the dream and have to fly by flapping my arms in an awkward way or get stuck in a tree. Then the people on the ground laugh at me. I hate that.

It doesn’t help that I’m an insomniac. I’ll lay in bed for hours watching the numbers tick off the clock. Do you ever play the "If I Go To Sleep Now" game? You know how it goes: If I go to sleep now, I’ll get six hours of sleep… If I go to sleep now, I’ll get three hours of sleep… If I go to sleep now…

To help with the insomnia I take GABA. It is supposed to alleviate anxiety, help you fall asleep, and even burn fat. One of the effects is that it causes vivid dreams. I pop about five or six capsules before settling in for the night. I don’t know that it helps me fall aslee… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Huh? Oh, sorry.

Victoria Rose takes Valerian to help her sleep. (Funny, I thought he was king of the Hawkmen.) She hooked me up with a bottle. I took a couple of the putrid smelling capsules before bed the night before last. I also took four or five GABA capsules. I fell asleep, but then I dreamed I was awake, so I got up exhausted the next morning. It didn’t help that I needed to pee, but couldn’t wake up enough to do anything about it. Not only did I dream I was awake and couldn’t fall asleep, I dreamt I was running around looking for a bathroom and couldn’t find a place to pee. Then there was something about pirates. I’m not sure how they fit in.

Last night I dreamed that Professor X rented a room for me. I got out of bed and went into the kitchen for a bite to eat. Only it wasn’t the kitchen, it was the shoe department. The salesman and his customers were staring at me in my undies, all agog. I went back into the bedroom and realized that I was in the display window of a department store. I found out that the good professor rented the bedroom display of a department store in the mall because it was cheap. Well, Professor Xavier is nothing, if  not thrifty. Oh, but this won’t do. This won’t do at all.

Now the time has come for me to retire to my little bedchamber and try to get some shut-eye. I’ll take my GABA. I’ll take my Valerian. I’ll even take a couple of Benedryl for good measure. I’ll close my eyes and try to think pleasant thoughts. I’m sure at some point I’ll have a dream. I hope it is a sexy dream.

"Hi, I’m James Brolin, and I’m going to teach you the secrets of the medicine man. So when we come back, I’ll do the impossible, and turn this buffalo right-side-out."

Super.

Comments

[Rx]

Becareful my wide awake friend, and don't forget the lessons we all learned from the Fat Elvis.

Interestinglly; I had a dream about you - first one in a long time. I was pluging away at my computer when the screen suddenly became a worm hole portal, sucking me in. Spitting me out into a medevial castel, with you advising me 'on something or other' - looking like Merlin, (from the movie EXCALABER). You were throwing skittles at me, and I was waiting for a rainbow? Weird, 'eh?

[Little Blossom]

Umm...Well alrighty then...What were you on, Rx?...Care to share?...

Lay off all those meds, Tehuti!!...I said you should sleep, but I didnt mean you should o.d. on that shit!

[Little Blossom]

...and yes, I play the "If I Go To Sleep Now" game...So how'd you sleep last night?...Another strange nightmare, or did you get that sexy dream you wanted?
--little blossom

[Honey Red]

Well, It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who can't sleep. Maybe we should start an insomniacs club? Funny though...I had a dream about you roo last night...Something about you wearing Sun-God robes while I thrw little pickles at you....

[Little Blossom]

Pickles and skittles..um ok...I got dibs on the candy-corn!...o0o or da brownies!...Whatever you guys are on, I still want some!...Yeh, I think we SHOULD start an insomniacs club...There'd be like, a bunch of us..

[T.D.Tehuti]

Pickles and skittles, eh? Hmmmm... I think you people seem to have some sort of oral fixation. Oh, and X, I wouldn't share that "waiting for the rainbow," thing with too many people. I don't know what it means, but it probably isnt good.

Last night I had a dream that I was being washed out to sea by a great deluge. Maybe it is all the tsunami news on TV. Maybe it is something else... But there I was, clinging to a little branch, floating farther and farther from the people I love, until at last I was swallowed up by the brackish water and disappeared into the abyss.

Oh sorry... I guess that isn't very cheerful. It's true, but not very cheerful.

Hey! Watch me tap dance and fall down! See? Now, that's better, isn't it?

[Victoria Rose]

I hesitated to comment but here goes..Guys you missed the whole point of Tehuti's piece..Remember exageration is the writer's best friend. This is not about using meds to sleep, it is about the necessity of sleep and dreams and how we fight for both. Should we take dreams seriously? Do they predict or show our feelings? "Sleep per chance to dream..ah, there's the rub"

[Little Blossom]

Well, generally we all miss the whole point of an artist's work. We all have our own interpretations. Unlike you, Victoria Rose, we don't have the luxary of getting to talk to Tehuti any old time we want to or get to hear his thoughts on things like this. What's wrong with having creative minds? Why take things so seriously all the time? If Tehuti had meant for us to do that he wouldn't use the exageration talent of his so often. Pretend every now and then that you don't know the inside story and let the rest of us, as well as yourself, have fun with this.

--Little Blossom

[Chief Big Toe Red Feather]

Okay, so you are lying awake in bed many hours a night? You dream of events, places, flying? Of an inside out buffalo and a movie star? Of course, this happens when you actually DO sleep, right? Well, I may not be as good as Freud, or any "true" philosophers of any time, but it sounds as if you are about to undergo change in your life. You will be turned inside out whilst in the middle of living one of the greatest experiences known to mankind. And you'll roll with the punches, shake yourself off and come right back into the now.

Dreams tell us many things. Things that we cannot hear until we sleep, to process the info in real-time.

Anyways. Blah, blah blah.

Laters.
Red Hawke Dancing