It was time for the Ghost of Floyd the barber to touch up my "Nolte," and we chatted casually while he worked. I told him about the odd thing that happened last night, shortly after I got back from dropping off Lady Mercy.
A few minutes after I got home the cats and I were in the master chamber when there came a ruckus in the library. Fearing that Colonel Peacock might have been dispatching poor Ms Plum with a candlestick, we rushed in only to find that the scales of Ma'at, which have stood undisturbed atop a large bookcase for years, toppled over onto a statue of Anpu. The pan of the balance that held the Feather of Truth dangled down in front of the bookcase while the pan that held the heart lay tipped over on top. One of the chains of the Ab side of the balance draped over Anpu's Waas staff. The heart that was suspended on that side, along with a braid of Mercy's hair which had been in the pan underneath the heart, lay spilled across the bookcase top.
"Hmmmm," Floyd hummed, as if it were an omen. He stopped clipping for a moment and got a thoughtful look on his face.
"I think you ought to come to the Underworld Reunion with me this year," He said. He put on his best voice of awe and mystery. "I think somebody has a message for you."
"No thanks," I shot back. "The Underworld is dark and lonely with only ghosts for companions, and that damn dancing skeleton gets on my nerves."
"Slim gets on everybody's nerves, but that isn't the point. You are already walking the path of the Gardener. They Buried him yesterday, you know. You don't want to quit halfway do you? While you're down there you can tickle the roots of the flowers so they'll bloom real pretty next spring. Not everybody can do that, you ought to feel honored."
Well, how can you argue with that?
"Good," Floyd said. "We leave right away, upon the Autumn Equinox. I'll have you back by All Souls Day."
"But I have to work," I protested.
"Don't worry about that. We'll bring the underworld to you. You see, they have the same things in the Underworld that we have here, only there it's a little different..."
"You mean, as above, so below, right?"
"Something like that-- layers of reality superimposed on each other, one resonating at a slightly higher frequency than the other. You can turn on, tune in or drop out. It is up to you to decide how deeply beyond the veil you want to peek."
"Thaylese was right!" I said. "Assuming I want to do this, just how do we go about it?"
Floyd grinned a broad grin.
"Tonight in a dream go down into the basement of Casa Tehuti, past the Elvis Room, beyond the Inescapable Labyrinth, down deeper than the catacombs, to the acid cut tunnels on level E. Turn left at the rock etched with the words, "No Kill I." Hop in the little boat that goes through the spelunker's cave and get out after that spinning barrel that makes you feel like you are going upside down. There you will find a rabbit hole marked with a sign that says, "Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here." Ignore that. Virgil just put that up to keep the kids away. Go down the rabbit hole and sit in the comfy chair. Take the red pill and the blue pill and a couple of Jolly Rancher suckers (but not the Hershey's miniatures) and when you wake up in the morning you'll be in the Underworld."
Floyd was fading away, his voice like a bad cell phone connection.
"Remember, the world will seem the same, but the veil is thin. The underworld, like the Matrix, is all around you. You just have to look to see it. Messengers will appear from everywhere."
As he crackled into nothingness he left me with a final message,
"You will find what you lost by Halloween, or you will never have it again."
And like a wisp of smoke, Floyd was gone. He didn't even finish my haircut.
Comments